Its been 6 months since my dad passed away and it gets a little easier as days go by. When our family first found out that Dad had cancer,Dad wasnt worried about himself(being a good husband and father and a god loving man) his biggest concern was for mom ,he was worried about how she would be after his death,he was so used to being by her side all the time after all they were married for 60 years. He told me once about a dream he had had and it scared the heck out of him. You see mom had told dad that they were both going to go at the same time and dads dream was that mom had committed suicide by jumping into a river just to be with him,he was worried that she wouldnt be able to handle things after he was gone. So I made a promise to my dad that mom would be okay and that us kids(I)would make sure of that. That he didnt have to worry.
Since dads passing mom is still having a hard time with it,she misses him dearly as we all do,but mom was the love of his life and dad was hers. I cant imagine how it must feel to have someone that you've taken care of for 60 years all of a sudden is not there anymore.
So Im trying the best I can to make sure that mom is at least alittle happy. Mom seems to have forgotten the simple things shes use to doing like paying bills,remembering is moms hardest thing especially since she had another mini stroke in may. I guess Ive taken some things upon myself to make sure mom is okay. Ive suggested getting the house refinanced since moms income has changed alot and the money just isnt there for her.Mom doesnt remember to get her prescriptions refilled ,so I ask her if she needs any.If she does I will go get them for her.I keep my brothers informed on whats going on as to not let them be in the dark,I dont think at times they really understand mom,one seems to think mom should do things more on her own and I agree but has he actually been there to see how she really is doing ,how many times since dads passing has he actually been there to really "see" hows shes doing. Do they know how far behind on her bills she is,can they take the time to "see" if she needs any help with anything. Mom needed some snacks in the house for her to eat because of her diabeties and there was none to be found. I took it upon myself to call meals one wheels so that mom will have a lunch for herself.
I guess some people might think that the oldest sibling should be doing or making all the decisions but I dont why must it be left up to one child when there are 3.Just because your the oldest doesnt mean everything is put upon there shoulders,I guess being "The one and only" daughter my emotions kick in more and not the logic,sometimes with so much logic you tend to build up this huge wall and are afraid to let your emotions show and thats not good you need to let your emotions out otherwise your heart will just get hard and empty. So I hope Im making the right decisions for mom,I will give her suggestions but its mom who gives the final answer.
Tennesse
"What a trip"